If Only

It happened once again, it was the same mean guys
I can’t keep them away, despite all of my tries
They say I like girls so that makes me a dyke
Practically every other day, I’m pushed off my bike
My old friends walk by and they don’t make a sound
They pretend not to notice and casually walk around
How can they do this, how is this so
How can they allow this and not say no
If only there was someone to talk with, somebody near
Someone to hear the screams that nobody else can hear
Maybe those guys are right, maybe I should burn in hell
Nobody would really care anyway, as far as I can tell
My best friend is no longer there, she said she needed some space
My parents don’t understand, they just think I’m in a confused place
I don’t want to be a cheerleader; I don’t want to wear a dress
I don’t care about makeup or if my hair is a mess
I want to be ME, why can’t I just live my life
So what if I want to grow up and have a future wife
It’s getting harder, trying to stay strong
When all everyone is doing is telling me I’m wrong
I try not to think about it, I try to keep the urge at bay
But ending it all sounds better each and every day
If only there was someone to talk with, somebody near
Someone to hear the screams that nobody else can hear
I should give my iPod to Lauren, it’s not like I need it anymore
I begin to cry, curling up into a ball on the bedroom floor
I can’t take the pressure; there is nowhere else to turn
I hope when I’m gone, this lesson they will learn
It’s okay to be you, whoever that might be
And if someone you know is hurting, hurting inside like me
Let them know their life matters and that you really do care
Because this burden I carry is far too much for one to bare
It comes with a price too, one that is high
One that is permanent, with no second try
I wish she would have listened instead of being on her phone
Her saying to get over it, just made me feel so very alone
If only there was someone to talk with, somebody near
Someone to hear the screams that nobody else can hear
That person could have been you; you could have helped me fight
You could have stood up for me and did what you knew was right
Given me strength, encouragement and hope
Made me feel like I wasn’t at the end of my rope
But instead, it was these words that I wrote
Now all that you are left with of me, is this note
 
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
For all those we have lost, I hold them in my heart
I can’t bring them back, but I vow to do my part
I will look for the signs, I will not abandon you
I will listen, really listen, whenever you want me to
I will stand up for those who are taunted for who they are or for what they wear
I will stand up to the bullies to show you that I care
My voice will be heard on behalf of those made to feel shame
I pledge all of this today, won’t you do the same?

 

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